Conservatives Invited To A Weekend Of Burning Shit For Just $50k

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DETROIT — Following conservative PAC ForAmerica's sellout of their “Special Weekend with Robert O’Neill, the Man who Shot Osama bin Laden” event, top contributors who responded too late are being offered "A Special Weekend With Our Military's Malingerers," with the highlight of the event allowing attendees to burn feces in 55 gallon drums.

"Our event will consist of a number of activities befitting of these semi-patriots who were disappointed after they missed the O'Neill event," said ForAmerica director Ned Freeman. "Were they on the ball, to help take back the America I love from left wing socialist conspirators? Maybe not. But they are with us now."

Due to time constraints, the hastily planned fete will be held this upcoming weekend on heavily industrialized and former Native American burial ground Zug Island. At the confluence of the Rouge and Detroit River, the veritable wasteland offers picturesque views of coking trains and hazardous waste disposal sites to mirror the "hopeless, filthy, and deceivingly pernicious" environments our service-members work in every day.

Pentagon casualties, metric improvement, and Fat Leonard’s least dignified phase.

A State Department map that relocated most of Africa, one ambitious government travel card, and 5,200 medical students moved from dorms that definitely do not have mold.

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