GRANDMA’S HOUSE, USA — Multiple sources report that your grandmother is very worried about “all this Middle East business” and just wants to know if you were on one of those airplanes that recently bombed Iran.

“She’s been worried sick,” said your mother, even though you are not a pilot or mission commander, and might not even be in the Air Force. “Grandma saw the news about ‘those stealth plane things’ attacking the atomic bomb factories in Iran, and she’s afraid you might have been flying one. Please call her.”

One of your siblings noted that Grandma did try to ask you about it by posting on her own Facebook wall. “Why not take a few minutes to check it out, Mister Top Gun War Hero?” the sibling said.

This isn’t the first time grandma thought you were in the middle of a high-profile military operation. At various times over the past month, she’s asked your parents and siblings if you were in North Korea, Ukraine, or deployed to the border “fighting all those illegals.”