AFGHANISTAN — Taliban operative and avid Navy SEAL fan Mansour Aminullah says he was disappointed when a raid on his house was conducted by "some pansies from the Ranger Regiment" instead of SEALs, sources confirmed today.

Aminullah, who has countless books and films on the elite naval special operations forces, says being raided by a bunch of guys he had never heard of was a big let down.

"The SEALs are my heroes," said Aminullah, pointing to a poster of the iconic Trident symbol displayed prominently on his wall. "Zero Dark Thirty was just so badass, and bin Laden was a dick anyway."