Iranian Missile Test Disrupts Navy Sexual Assault Prevention Class

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THE PERSIAN GULF - The Islamic Republic of Iran's annual missile drill "Great Prophet 9" culminated this year with the firing of 18 ballistic missiles into the Gulf of Oman. Duffel Blog has learned that the show of force coincided with the Aegis-equipped destroyer on station USS The Sullivans conducting quarterly Sexual Assault Program Response (SAPR) training in the vessel's Combat Information Center.

The SAPR representative was explaining the definition of a "quid quo pro" on a PowerPoint slide projected over the monitor intended for situation awareness at the time of launch detection.

"I noticing several large dots bloom on the radar scope," recounted Officer of the Deck Lt. Frank Piet to reporters, "So I turned on the 1MC and announced the launch of several Iranian missiles."

Pentagon casualties, metric improvement, and Fat Leonard’s least dignified phase.

A State Department map that relocated most of Africa, one ambitious government travel card, and 5,200 medical students moved from dorms that definitely do not have mold.

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