WASHINGTON — Islamic terror conglomerates ISIS and Boko Haram could join forces as soon as next week after the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) approved their merger earlier today.

Raqqa-based ISIS said it planned to close as soon as next Wednesday on the acquisition of Nigerian terror group Boko Haram after final federal antitrust regulator review. The deal, worth about 2.7 billion sheep, would create a juggernaut in the fast-growing businesses of ethnic cleansing and slavery.

Those close to the merger report that the hasty consolidation is designed to cut costs and capture a larger share of the girls ages 15-18 demographic, which remains fractured across continents. ISIS also plans to continue to develop more user-friendly public immolation technology and expand its current grip on black head scarves.