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ISIS fighter learns innovative torture techniques at Marine drill instructor school

MCRD PARRIS ISLAND, S.C. — The Marine Corps Recruit Depot has once again found itself in hot water after officials allowed an ISIS fighter to pursue his dreams of learning the art of torture and degradation from the prestigious Marine Corps Drill Instructor School, sources confirmed today.

Allahk Hazeen, a 25-year-old Syrian native and recent graduate, says he can't wait to share the school's wealth of knowledge with his fellow jihadists back home. He says his first job would be to recreate the drowning of six recruits in 1956 that led to the formation of DI school, which he will likely call the "Raqqa Creek Incident."

Hazeen hopes that his blazing a trail could someday lead to the creation of more structured torture schools across the Islamic State like it did in the U.S. some 60 years ago.

"With the addition of these schools, I am confident we can create a nation-wide 'Recruit Depot' for our blasphemous citizens. At random times, we will tell them to 'drop blouse' and go to the sand-pit, which for us is pretty much all of Iraq, and I.T. for no real reason whatsoever," Hazeen told reporters.

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