KANDAHAR — An ISIS infantry platoon is still waiting for the IED Team to show up after calling them more than seven hours ago, sources confirmed today.

"These fucking guys take forever," said Omar Rashid, a fire team leader. "I'm sweating my balls off out here."

According to sources, the platoon had been patrolling throughout the area before it came across what the squad leader believed would be a perfect spot for an improvised explosive device. After observing the location and vehicular traffic around it, he radioed back to his base to request IED support.

"Be advised, IED will be there in about one hour," an operator at the ISIS Combat Operations Center told the radio operator then, as well as nine other times in the past seven hours.