WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump has nominated Capt. Jack Sparrow to serve as the 26th commandant of the U.S. Coast Guard, sources confirmed today.
Sparrow, the skipper of the Black Pearl, currently serves as operational commander of one the nine pirate lords in the Brethren Court, the Pirate Lords of the Seven Seas, and now will command a fleet of Coast Guard cutters around the coastal United States.
The White House announced the nomination in a press release, calling Sparrow “an expert in piracy and illegal contraband trade” and saying he is “a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest.”
