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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 126 · Thursday, 22 October 2026

Pentagon

Hegseth consults God via dumpster fire behind Pentagon

Secretary says God commanded him to invade Greenland, restore Christian values

US to livestream execution of Ukraine

Iran condemns US plan to livestream execution as barbaric

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Vol. 15 · No. 126

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Duffel Blog

Established 2012 · Deployed worldwide

Vol. 15 · No. 126 · Deployed worldwide

Thursday

22 October 2026

1047 Zulu

Next edition Friday

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· Page 2

Jedi chaplain finds your lack of faith disturbing

Why does Chaps keep trying to Force choke me?

Filed · 1104

PATRICK SPACE FORCE BASE, Fla. — The U.S. Space Force has announced the appointment of the first Jedi chaplain, a bold move aimed at providing spiritual support to the growing number of troops who follow the paths of the Force and extreme nerd culture.

Jedi Master Jonathan Blaster, a longtime Star Wars fan, was ecstatic about the opportunity and his appointment. "I am honored to be the first Jedi chaplain in the DoD," he said. "I hope to bring balance to the lives of our soldiers, their families, and their wookies—I mean woobies."

The Space Force announced this expansion of qualified chaplains in an effort to connect with “the youth” and the times.

“Listen, we aren’t here to judge service members and their faith,” said a Lt. Space Cdr. Chevy Candy, a spokesperson for the Space Force.

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