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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 120 · Thursday, 8 October 2026

Pentagon

DTS works properly after hack by rogue AI

Pentagon scrambling to restore slow load times, incomprehensible errors and traditional user experience

Lincoln sailor returning from deployment already broke

Paste-eating Marine praised for unmatched commitment to unit

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Vol. 15 · No. 120

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Duffel Blog

Established 2012 · Deployed worldwide

Vol. 15 · No. 120 · Deployed worldwide

Thursday

8 October 2026

1343 Zulu

Next edition Friday

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· Page 2

Marine crayon eating competition goes horribly wrong

Filed · 1552

CHERRY POINT, N.C. — Catastrophe has consumed Marine Corps Air Station Cherry Point after a Marine died of crayon consumption, what sources call "one of the top three worst case scenarios for Marines." Now investigators are trying to determine how this could have happened.

An inquiry into the command climate concerning crayon consumption is currently being coordinated by the brass at Camp Lejeune. Of chief concern is whether or not Charlie Company was complying with the crayon consumption code by sticking to the three Cs: color, crunch, and chew.

Navy Lt. Doug Forsythe is conducting the JAGMAN investigation, and has focused his efforts on "C3."

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