WASHINGTON — The Marine Corps is poised to release the results of a controversial new gender study that aims to absolve its leadership from any negligence or perceived mishandling of the recent nude photo scandal, sources confirmed today.

The week-long research project, which relied on a team of expert anthropologists, biologists, misogynists, and primatologists from the Marine Corps Center for Operational Culture and Knowledge, claims it found evidence that all men are essentially biologically-programmed to share nudes, talk about sex all the time, and denigrate women.

“Men have been interested in sharing pictures of boobs and drawing their own penises since the dawn of time,” said Dr. Richard Hole, a researcher who co-authored the report.