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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Friday, 25 September 2026

Pentagon

Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch

Services clash over historic privilege of being first to defile nation’s newest military monument

Mitch McConnell returns from extended drill weekend

Trump considers replacing Hegseth with rock or something

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Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Deployed worldwide

Friday

25 September 2026

0251 Zulu

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· Page 2

Marines disappointed to find no strippers at North Pole

Filed · 1536

TROMSO, Norway – Marines training in Norway were disappointed recently when they trekked to the North Pole as part of a cold weather training package and did not find what they were expecting at their destination.

“Where the strippers at?” asked Sgt. Nick Stevens, a member of Marine Rotational Force Norway. “When Gunny said we were going to the North Pole, I thought he was taking us to some Norwegian strip club, and there’d be super hot blonde chicks in g-strings and snow boots.”

The confusion over the intended destination may have stemmed from the Norwegian liaison officer’s offer to help the Marines join the “North Pole Club.” After hiking over the snow and ice and fending off two polar bear attacks, the disappointment at not arriving at an actual adult club was indeed severe for many of the Marines.

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