Military frantically Googling where Defense Secretary is in presidential order of succession

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WASHINGTON — Millions of members of the U.S. military are frantically Googling where the Secretary of Defense sits in the line of succession to President of the United States, sources confirmed today.

The more than two million Google searches for terms such as "where is SecDef in succession order" and "can SecDef be promoted to president" came just hours after it was learned that retired Marine Gen. James Mattis would be named to lead the Department of Defense.

Mattis, 66, has been tapped by President-elect Donald Trump to head the department, which has been plagued by low morale and expensive cluster-fuck weapons systems, such as the F-35. He's expected to easily boost morale, but attempting to fix DoD bureaucracy may be beyond even Mattis' abilities.

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