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Situation Report
Military spouse genitals now CAC-enabled
Sometimes you need to lick it first.
THE PENTAGON – In its latest modernization effort at improving cybersecurity hygiene for military families, the Department of Defense announced that the genitalia of all military spouses will become Common Access Card-enabled by the end of the fiscal year.
”The penises and vaginas of our military family members deserve the same benefits and security features as the penises and vaginas of servicemembers themselves,” Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin said, “the latter of which have been CAC-enabled since 2014.”
When it comes to securing your spouse’s private parts during a lengthy deployment overseas, experts say there’s no better solution than multi-factor authentication.
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