This week in American power projection: the map was wrong, the dorms were fine, and the travel card was for official purposes.
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Situation Report
Milley opens 'Joint Chiefs' cannabis shop outside Fort Myer gate
"Bro! 'High Command' bro! Get it? High Command!"
ARLINGTON, Va. - Recently-retired Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff and head of all US armed forces, Gen. Mark Milley, today opened the doors to his next chapter - a cannabis dispensary called “The Joint Chiefs of Stash.”
You don’t earn this badge, you vibe it.
“I am suuuuuuper baked right now, man,” Milley stated while exhaling after holding in a drag for an alarmingly long period. “Oh yeah, you wanted me to talk about my pot shop, yeah. It’s cool, huh [indecipherable coughing]?”
Between monster bong hits, coughing fits, and snacking on a bowl of Sour Patch Kids and Honey Nut Cheerios, Milley described his creative, quirky line of military-themed products.
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