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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 120 · Thursday, 8 October 2026

Pentagon

DTS works properly after hack by rogue AI

Pentagon scrambling to restore slow load times, incomprehensible errors and traditional user experience

Lincoln sailor returning from deployment already broke

Paste-eating Marine praised for unmatched commitment to unit

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Vol. 15 · No. 120

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Vol. 15 · No. 120 · Deployed worldwide

Thursday

8 October 2026

1336 Zulu

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· Page 2

First MRE eaten in war in Afghanistan finally pooped out

Filed · 1532

JACKSON, Mo. — After more than 17 years inside a retired Special Forces soldier's colon, the first Meals Ready-to-Eat consumed during the war in Afghanistan was pooped out this week, sources confirmed today.

1st Sgt. Jeff Donegan (Ret.) says he ate the beef ravioli MRE during the initial invasion of Afghanistan in October 2001.

"I remember it like it was yesterday. A hot, dusty afternoon on the outskirts of Kandahar. Not a rock or something in sight to lean my heater on," Donegan said. "I cracked open that wheat snack bread knowing we'd be in it for the long haul, but I never could have imagined it would be this long."

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