WAIKIKI, HI — Personnel from 1st Battalion 3rd Marines were shocked and sickened last night after learning the venue hosting their birthday ball celebration failed to renew its liquor license in time.

Multiple Marines at the Hyatt Regency Waikiki were overcome by massive alcohol withdrawal, resulting in ambulances from three downtown firehouses, as well as several neighboring stations being dispatched out.

Witnesses say a large group began gathering in front of an unmanned bar, while frantically waving dollar bills and debit cards. One Marine said it seemed like a heartless joke the staff was playing on them at first, but it quickly escalated into a scene of mass casualty.