WASHINGTON — Top Army leaders have urged the National Guard Bureau to wrap up its Capitol and COVID-19 response missions as soon as possible so the Guard can focus on readiness after the stunning revelation that a private had not had his annual dental exam, sources confirmed today.

Pvt. Ryan Wade, a water purification specialist from Dubuque, Iowa, was immediately pulled from his post guarding the Capitol building when the news broke.

“Putting 20,000 troops in the Capitol with no-notice is all fine and dandy, but have you heard about the return to great power competition?” Gen. James McConville, Army chief of staff, said in a phone call with guard chief Gen. Daniel Hokanson on Monday. McConville noted that some of the troops were probably missing drill, which would undoubtedly mean that the Guard’s readiness for future operations would be hurt by their dogged focus on current operations.

McConville went on to explain that real-world missions are a distraction from the Army’s very critical readiness missions, like being green on dental, leg tucks, and online counterinsurgency training. After a recent troop visit, not a single National Guardsmen mentioned Combat Training Center rotations, which McConville found disturbing. He urged that missions be curtailed to focus on readiness.