MANAMA, BAHRAIN - In a move sure to send a strong message to Iran, the US Navy has kicked off the opening stages of Operation Hawk Thunder, an expensive, pointless exercise in the Persian Gulf with no real objective, sources confirmed today.

“Operation Hawk Thunder will show Iran that the US Navy maintains a strong presence in the Gulf,” Rear Admiral William DeMark said. “There is nothing the Iranians fear more than a bunch of ships doing circles in the ocean and returning to port. Ships from twelve nations will be joining us, so we won’t be the only country wasting fuel in this time of economic hardship.”

Operation Hawk Thunder will consist of three parts. First, the ships from all the nations will be docked in Manama, Bahrain. Officers from each ship will tour the others, look around, and nod with respect. Second, the ships will sail in formation out into the Persian Gulf and circle around for a week. Finally, they will return to Bahrain and hold a dinner celebration for a job well done.