Skip to content
DUFFEL BLOG

Free military brief. No CAC required.

For more than a decade, we've deployed pitch perfect satire to service members around the world.

Join thousands of troops, veterans, and defense insiders who read Duffel Blog before breakfast.

“A must-read for national security nerds.”

—The Daily Beast
Subscribe form

Free. No spam. Unsubscribe anytime.

14years publishing
4,200+dispatches filed
17,000+readers briefed

The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 120 · Thursday, 8 October 2026

Pentagon

DTS works properly after hack by rogue AI

Pentagon scrambling to restore slow load times, incomprehensible errors and traditional user experience

Lincoln sailor returning from deployment already broke

Paste-eating Marine praised for unmatched commitment to unit

Three editions a week, paid for by our subscribers

Vol. 15 · No. 120

Worldwide edition

Reader supported

Delivered 3× weekly

America's most trusted military news source

Duffel Blog

Established 2012 · Deployed worldwide

Vol. 15 · No. 120 · Deployed worldwide

Thursday

8 October 2026

0755 Zulu

Next edition Friday

← Front page
· Page 2

North Korea wins Olympic gold medal for ‘crossing red lines’

Filed · 1533

PYEONGCHANG, SOUTH KOREA — Team North Korea has scored an early success in the 2018 Winter Olympics after winning the Gold Medal for crossing red lines, sources confirmed today.

Crossing red lines, in which competitors try to outdo each other in violating international norms and basic standards of human decency, has been a longtime Winter Olympics sport ever since it was first introduced by Germany in the 1936 Winter Olympics.

North Korea beat historical favorites Syria, Russia, and Iran, along with a surprisingly strong first-time showing by the United States. Odds-makers had favored Syria and defending champion Russia, although due to the Olympic ban, an unknown number of Russian athletes are believed to be competing on the Ukrainian team.

Just minutes into the event, Russia had taken an early lead by bribing all the judges with free steroids, while Syria and Iran had taken the judges' families hostage.

Also on this page

Your Cart

Your cart is empty

Browse the shop to find something you like.

Continue Shopping →
Subtotal

Add more for free shipping.

✓ You qualify for free shipping!