WASHINGTON — Claiming he is “sick of this goddam presbyopia” and asserting “it’s finally time to do something about it,” Army Chief of Staff Raymond Odierno today ordered everyone in the Army to double the size of name tags and name tape, sources tell Duffel Blog.
“I’m not old, goddammit! 60 is not old!” Odierno said. “I’m not getting any new goddammed glasses!”
Current regulations require tape to be five inches long and to have lettering 20mm high. The mixed metric and English units are part of the procurement office’s “Job security through obscurity” initiative.
