2nd Lieutenant for sale to a good home
The Army gave us a few cans of dip to post this classified ad.
By As For Class
Attention all potential buyers! Are you tired of your current second lieutenant being just... a second lieutenant? Are you in need of an upgrade?
Look no further, because we have the perfect second lieutenant for you!
This top-of-the-line second lieutenant has all the features you could want in a junior officer: impeccable attention to detail (when it comes to their own appearance, at least), a unique ability to delegate all their work to their subordinates, and a talent for—well. Let’s see. Well, just keep reading and you’ll find out!
The best part? This second lieutenant comes with a built-in excuse generator, ensuring that they’ll drag their platoon through any hardship and keep themselves clean. Just activate the "I’m sorry, I’m just a lieutenant" function and watch as they smoothly squeak through the cracks of the system on the path toward general officer.
And if you're worried about this second lieutenant's ability to lead in the field, fear not! They may get a little…
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