WILMINGTON, Del. — An excited President Joe Biden announced today that he plans to spend his retirement running a POTUS-themed coffee company.

The company, tentatively called Malarky Joe’s, would feature a variety of presidential-themed coffee blends, including a Kenyan Hawaiian blend called Joe ‘Bama, the peanut-infused Cup o’ Carter, and a decaffeinated chamomile tea called Sleepy Joe. The flagship blend is the rich espresso roast, Dark Brandon.

The soon-to-be former president said he intends to start a viral marketing campaign featuring clever YouTube and TikTok featuring former U.S. presidents Clinton, Bush, and Obama and actors portraying Washington, Lincoln, and Roosevelt.