SYRIA — ISIS is initiating a caliphate-wide safety stand-down after one of its members injured himself on Monday with his own explosive device in New York City, sources confirmed today.

“This is a chance for us to stop operations and come together as a family to figure out what we are doing wrong," said Akbar Muhammad, Director of Standardization and Training for ISIS.

What should have been a routine operation on Monday to maim innocent civilians instead turned into another embarrassing stain on the caliphate’s already sullied reputation.

Akayed Ullah's failed attempt resulted in zero casualties while injuring himself in the process and only moderately disrupting the morning commute in Manhattan. This blunder comes on the heels of recent dismal performances such as ISIS’ eradication from Mosul and the Iraqi Army claiming complete victory over the Islamic State.

It also happened just days after a command climate survey was leaked, which showed plummeting morale among junior jihadists. “The…