Oorah! Stand at ease, please!

Yeah I know you weren’t at attention, I just wanted to say that so I could feel like a real officer. What are you up to? Nothing? That doesn’t seem very productive. Are you reading anything good right now? No? You’re not reading anything?

Wow, that’s very ... blue collar of you. Say, if you’re looking to get on my intellectual level (since I’m a college graduate and all), I could lend you this awesome book I just finished. I think you might like it. It’s called “Pay the Hooyah Frog,” by a former SEAL.

I probably could’ve been a SEAL, too, if I wanted. IOC is harder than BUD/S.

Anyways, the author hasn’t accomplished anything impressive since he stayed awake for a week one time, so he now makes a living convincing civilians that his experience leading 18-year-olds who were legally obligated to obey him is relevant to the business world. Because of his advice, I’ve started getting up 3 AM every morning.

I love it because it gives me time to tell everyone that I’ve been awake since 3 AM.

The whole book is super motivating, and there aren't any words over three syllables, so you'll actually be able to understand it. Well, I know how much you are looking forward to platoon PT tomorrow, so I’ll let you get some rest so you don’t show up still drunk from the night before, like you did last week.

Have a good one!