Marine Commandant realizes this is just how it’s going to be now
Commandant confirms it’s not temporary dysfunction—it’s the mission.
ARLINGTON, Va — U.S. Marine Commandant Gen. Eric Smith has come to the horrifying realization that it’s just going to keep being like this for a few years, sources confirmed today.
“I was checking if my phone was tapped when I realized this isn’t the growing pains of a new administration,” Smith said to reporters at the Pentagon. “We have to accept this is the new normal. The Secretary of Defense thinks he’s competent and doing a good job. There is no congressional inquiry, news story, or scandal that will make him question his decisions. It’s not an act either. He’s just that dumb.”
“And even if he gets fired, he was the best person Trump could find,” Smith added. “Imagine the second best.”
Gen. Smith was commissioned in the Marine Corps in 1987 and has had multiple combat deployments, including Operation Desert Shield. Now he takes orders from a guy who once threw an axe into a drumline and still got promoted to yelling on Fox.
Smith said he was spending a lot of time adding contingencies to military plans that would be unnecessary if the people in charge knew what the fuck they were doing.
“We have to operate under the assumption that all classified material has been compromised. We can’t count on allied intelligence because they no longer trust us. I’m counting down the days until vaccines are no longer required and there’s a measles outbreak at Parris Island. If we go to war, Marines are going to die because of these morons, and there’s nothing I can do about it. When I give speeches, I have to go in front of Marines and pretend I support this shit.”
At press time, Gen. Smith was preparing a statement about how he supported deporting Afghan interpreters and military spouses.
Red Friday wants to remind you to Remember EVERYONE Deployed.
 |
|
Bravo Zulu for speaking truth to power with wit and humor.
Keep up the good work.
That's why I suscribe.
. “Imagine the second best.”
That got me to thinking about ...which highly qualified potential SD is available over at WWE?