ARLINGTON, Va — U.S. Marine Commandant Gen. Eric Smith has come to the horrifying realization that it’s just going to keep being like this for a few years, sources confirmed today.

“I was checking if my phone was tapped when I realized this isn’t the growing pains of a new administration,” Smith said to reporters at the Pentagon. “We have to accept this is the new normal. The Secretary of Defense thinks he’s competent and doing a good job. There is no congressional inquiry, news story, or scandal that will make him question his decisions. It’s not an act either. He’s just that dumb.”

“And even if he gets fired, he was the best person Trump could find,” Smith added. “Imagine the second best.”