QUANTICO, Va. — Festive crowds gathered at Headquarters Marine Corps on Friday to celebrate 75 years of the service’s beloved Toys for Thots program, an annual event in which Marines gather toys for prostitutes, barracks rats, fuck bois, and TRICARE chasers to celebrate the holiday season.

“Toys for Thots represents the best of the United States Marine Corps Reserve,” said Sgt. Maj. Carlos Riveria, the top enlisted leader. “Every year when the Marines arrive in their dress blues with big boxes of toys at Paper Moon and all the little thots run out to greet them, I’m hard with the spirit of Christmas.”

Riveria noted that glitter was approved with the wear of the uniform during Toys for Thots drives, and those participating were eligible to be awarded the Thots National Award (TnA) for their service.

For those unable to make it to a Toys for Thots collection…