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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 116 · Tuesday, 29 September 2026

Air & Space

Space Force’s new uniform puts a little goose back in the step

White House says redesign projects discipline, strength and “absolutely no historical parallels”

Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch

Mitch McConnell returns from extended drill weekend

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Vol. 15 · No. 116

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Vol. 15 · No. 116 · Deployed worldwide

Tuesday

29 September 2026

1431 Zulu

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← Front page
· Page 2

Pardoned White House turkey defects to ISIS

Critics have cried fowl.

Filed · 1105

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Senior U.S. officials are literally calling "fowl" after the Thanksgiving turkey pardoned by President Obama publicly defected to the Middle Eastern terrorist group ISIS.

Popcorn the Turkey, now calling himself Babakurn al-Turki, was pardoned from the dinner table only yesterday by President Obama in a public ceremony at the White House. Normally the pardoned bird is sent along with its competitor to live out its remaining days at Morven Park's Turkey Hill in Leesburg, Virginia.

However, U.S. officials have now admitted that al-Turki instead hijacked an Osprey out of Andrews Air Force Base in nearby Maryland and flew like a bat out of hell to Syria.

A group of senior intelligence officials and ornithologists with birds-eye surveillance of the war-torn country have suggested he is nesting in Raqqah or across the northern border in another neighboring country.

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