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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 131 · Tuesday, 3 November 2026

Pentagon

Hegseth wears Eisenhower's globe as Halloween costume

Secretary says historic artifact looks better without America's allies

Spirit Halloween store to become pop-up ICE detention center

Army FRG unveils haunted house featuring spouses saying ‘I’m fine’

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Vol. 15 · No. 131

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Vol. 15 · No. 131 · Deployed worldwide

Tuesday

3 November 2026

0514 Zulu

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· Page 2

Pentagon awards contract to United Airlines to forcibly remove Assad

Filed · 1535

WASHINGTON — The Pentagon announced Tuesday it had awarded a sole-source contract to United Airlines for work related to the forcible removal of President Bashar al-Assad from Syria.

The contract, worth $2.1 billion, tasks the airline company with locating Assad, grabbing him from his seat in the presidential palace, and “dragging him out of Damascus by his arms.” The contract also notes that Assad should be “asked several times, politely” to give up his seat of power, though if he refuses, United workers should bloody his nose up a bit, according to the posting at FedBizOpps.

The award comes just days after President Donald Trump authorized the launch of cruise missiles at a Syrian air base, in response to Assad’s use of chemical weapons. Two Navy ships launched 59 Tomahawk missiles into Syria, which destroyed roughly 20% of its operational aircraft and a Green Beans Coffee shop being used by the Russian army.

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