Soldier Hospitalized After Masturbating With CLP
FORT CAMPBELL, Ky. — After complaining that his "dick pipe closed up," Pvt. Eric Draughter was admitted to Blanchfield Army Community Hospital early Wednesday where he was diagnosed with having Cleaner, Lubricant, and Protectant (CLP) in his urethra.
“CLP, a solvent for stripping firing residue from weapons, is not meant for human consumption or use as a personal lubricant,” said Dr. Russell Beckham, while holding back tears of what was likely laughter.
A source at Blanchfield told Duffel Blog that Draughter could barely walk when he stumbled through the emergency room doors around 2:00 am on Wednesday.
“We all thought he snorted too much Viagra and had a four hour red rocket. Boy, were we wrong," said the source. The source brought Draughter into an examination room where the young soldier dropped his JNCO jeans and began to frantically tell an incoherent story about how he was “rubbing one out to some barracks cooze with gun lube.” The source reported that Draughter used CLP as lubrica…
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