PEARL HARBOR — After the Justice Department criticized the state of North Carolina's “discriminatory” legislation on the use of public bathrooms by transgender people, the Pentagon has ordered the Virginia-class attack submarine USS North Carolina back from patrol in the Pacific so it can be retrofitted with LGBTQ friendly bathrooms, sources confirmed.

Simultaneously, the Pentagon has replaced the North Carolina on station with the USS San Francisco (SSN 711). Although that submarine is in the middle of a six-month dry-dock and refit, the Los Angeles-class attack submarine was hastily re-launched, and its crew recalled from leave.

Despite aggressive Russian naval activity in the region that has U.S. allies “considerably worried," the Pentagon defended the move as “absolutely necessary." The submarine is set to return to Pearl Harbor to undergo major overhauls to bring its bathrooms up to acceptable standards.