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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 119 · Tuesday, 6 October 2026

Navy & Marines

Lincoln sailor returning from deployment already broke

Financial counselors unable to determine where approximately 10 months of pay went

Paste-eating Marine praised for unmatched commitment to unit

Backed-up toilet appointed new Secretary of the Army

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Vol. 15 · No. 119

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Duffel Blog

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Vol. 15 · No. 119 · Deployed worldwide

Tuesday

6 October 2026

1700 Zulu

Next edition Wednesday

← Front page
Veterans · Page 2

Walz stops rally to tell sleepy attendee to stand up in the back

"Hey, hero, stand up and get to the back of the hall! God dang!"

Filed · 0503

GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — During a recent campaign rally in Michigan, supporters and potential voters of the Harris-Walz ticket got a glimpse of Governor Tim Walz’s previous career as an Army sergeant major when a sleepy rallygoer brought out Walz’s inner senior noncommissioned officer.

“This is a campaign of joy and looking forward!” the former National Guardsman of 24 years shouted before observing one of the rally’s attendees starting to doze off. “Vice President Harris and I intend to…what the F…wake him up! Hey, hero, stand up and get to the back of the hall! God dang!”

Walz continued, “I better not see any more god dang eyelids from up here, Hooah? If you can’t stay awake, I got something for you! Y'all wanna play games? Cuz I got more games than god darn Milton Bradley! We can do this rally from the front leaning rest, Roger?” 

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