Marine Feels Left Out After Redeploying To Faithful, Hot Wife And Full Bank Account

CAMP LEJEUNE, N.C. — Sgt. David Lastley says his homecoming from Afghanistan is bittersweet after redeploying last week to find out his smoking-hot wife had been faithful to him and had not cleaned out his bank account, sources confirmed.

“I mean, it’s great, I guess,” Lastley said, speaking to reporters from the deck of his home, which his supermodel-le…