THE PENTAGON — The Pentagon has concluded the F-35 has failed to achieve the dreams it once had for the fighter jet after more than 20 years of development, but top military officials say they are not mad, just disappointed.

“Every country wants their brand new fighter to evolve and do great things,” said Air Force Chief of Staff Gen. Charles “CQ” Brown Jr. “But as the F-35’s project lifecycle matured, it could never seem to buckle down and focus on one mission set.”

According to officials, the original intent of the F-35 was for it to be a lightweight, low-cost aircraft capable of replacing the aging F-16 fleet that is so grown up that they’re apparently too busy to call home on the Air Force birthday.

But after decades of modifications, the more than 615 jets now in the F-35 fleet are overweight, underused, and spend most of their days sitting on the tarmac, burning through their parent project’s money. Even so, the Air Force continues to support the project.