WASHINGTON — A new Central Intelligence Agency hire issued what he believes is David Petraeus’ old phone number has lost sleep, focus and productivity due to an incessant barrage of late night texts that may be from Paula Broadwell, sources confirmed today.

“It started about a week after I got a government cellphone issued,” said Analyst David Newell. “It was about 2 a.m., and I got a text. I raced over, thinking only something really important and work-related had happened, like we had a top high value target in custody and I’d need to authorize some enhanced interrogation techniques. But all it said was ‘miss u L.'”

“It took a few messages for me to realize that didn’t mean that one of my field agents had missed a drop site. No, this was personal. And then, she knew the number was active again. And it just wouldn’t stop”