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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 132 · Wednesday, 4 November 2026

Pentagon

Pentagon confident U.S. will be ready for 2027 war with China by 2035

Officials cite historically proven American strategy of entering wars completely unprepared

Hegseth wears Eisenhower's globe as Halloween costume

Spirit Halloween store to become pop-up ICE detention center

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Vol. 15 · No. 132

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Duffel Blog

Established 2012 · Deployed worldwide

Vol. 15 · No. 132 · Deployed worldwide

Wednesday

4 November 2026

0523 Zulu

Next edition Friday

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Navy & Marines · Page 5

Pimpatronic 5000 appointed as Navy Vice Admiral of vice

Filed · 1536

WASHINGTON — Sir Orgasmotron Electrokisses IV has been appointed the Navy's 56th Vice Admiral of Vice, and was sworn in at a small ceremony today in the Pentagon's pleasure gardens during the new autumn moon amidst a roiling mass of bodies, flesh, and stink, sources confirmed.

"Welcome brothers and sisters in sin," oozed Orgasmotron while a spinning disco-ball raised from the middle of a large champagne fountain. "I hereby swear to fulfill my duties under Article Sex of the United States Constitution," he continued while penetrating a young intern with numerous pleasure tentacles.

Admiral Electrokisses is the newest in the Pimpatronic line — model 5,000. He comes equipped with dozens of detachable arms, seven access ports, a 15k generator, and four mouths, among other features.

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