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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 132 · Wednesday, 4 November 2026

Pentagon

Pentagon confident U.S. will be ready for 2027 war with China by 2035

Officials cite historically proven American strategy of entering wars completely unprepared

Hegseth wears Eisenhower's globe as Halloween costume

Spirit Halloween store to become pop-up ICE detention center

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Vol. 15 · No. 132

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Vol. 15 · No. 132 · Deployed worldwide

Wednesday

4 November 2026

2119 Zulu

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· Page 2

Riot breaks out at Fort Hood dining facility after menu promises chocolate milf

Filed · 1535

FORT HOOD, Texas — More than 17 soldiers were admitted to Darnall Army Hospital for serious injuries after a riot broke out yesterday over a menu typo at a base dining facility, officials say. Dozens more were treated on-scene for minor injuries.

“We knew there was going to be a problem about an hour before chow started, when we noticed a group of like 600 soldiers waiting outside, smoking Newports and talking about Kelly Rowland,” said Spc. Jayne Cobb, a cook who works in the Desert Storm DFAC. “As it got closer to opening time, they started getting restless and pounding on the door.”

Curious as to why so many soldiers were uncharacteristically enthusiastic about eating the DFAC’s normal Thursday lunchtime selection of Shit on a Shingle, creamed corn, spinach, and lemon square, the cooking staff opened a window and asked a soldier what the commotion was about. That’s when they realized their error.

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