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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 119 · Monday, 5 October 2026

Navy & Marines

Lincoln sailor returning from deployment already broke

Financial counselors unable to determine where approximately 10 months of pay went

Paste-eating Marine praised for unmatched commitment to unit

Backed-up toilet appointed new Secretary of the Army

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Vol. 15 · No. 119

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Vol. 15 · No. 119 · Deployed worldwide

Monday

5 October 2026

0058 Zulu

Next edition Wednesday

← Front page
Air & Space · Page 6

Col. Sanders, Capt. Crunch decry lack of Air Force rep for Joint Chiefs of snack

Filed · 1532

WASHINGTON — Col. Sanders and Capt. Crunch, the longest serving members of the Joint Chiefs of Snack, have spoken publicly about their frustration that the current administration has yet to appoint an Air Force representative to the Joint Chiefs of Snack, sources confirmed today.

“This is an outrage,” said the Cap’n at a press conference Tuesday. “The Air Force nomination of Toucan Sam, a fine flyer who would have been the first openly-gay member of the Joint Chiefs, should have been approved. Now, Tony ‘the flying’ Tiger’s appointment has been sitting in Congress for months with no movement. It’s not grrr-eat.”

The nomination of Sam, who had a long and notable career in aviation, was halted by media attention over his involvement in the Froot Loops scandal.

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