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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 123 · Thursday, 15 October 2026

Veterans

Vetbro apparel company pivots from stupid shirts to aggressively homoerotic ones

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Vol. 15 · No. 123

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Vol. 15 · No. 123 · Deployed worldwide

Thursday

15 October 2026

1259 Zulu

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· Page 2

Sergeant wants a girl who looks at him like Joint Chiefs look at Afghanistan

When the Joint Chiefs look at Afghanistan, it’s a look that says ‘I’ll never leave you.’

Filed · 0500

FORT BRAGG, N.C. — Army Sgt. Adrien Farmer wants to find a woman who looks at him the way the Joint Chiefs of Staff look at Afghanistan, according to friends, family, and Tinder.

“As an enlisted soldier, I’ve already experienced the typical four divorces,” Farmer told reporters. “But when the Joint Chiefs look at Afghanistan, it’s a look that says ‘I’ll never leave you.’

“I want that for me,” he added.

Also on Farmer’s list of ideal traits for a mate is being good with kids and — like the Joint Chiefs — being willing to spend trillions of dollars on him.

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