Shaking HMMWV hits 88 mph, travels through time

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FORT IRWIN, Calif. — The US Army has been experimenting with new HMMWV technology that people with limited imagination are calling “a gamechanger.”

According to sources, the Army has discovered that a HMMWV driven at exactly 88 miles per hour and hitting a bump just right will travel through time. Physicists say that the suspension on the “hummers” is so bad and the weight of the vehicle such that the impact with the bump generates exactly 1.21 jigawatts of kinetic energy for 54 nanoseconds.

The revelation occurred during a routine National Guard training exercise at Fort Irwin when soldiers were doing soldier things and decided to remove the governor from the Humvee.

The driver of the vehicle, Spc. Johnson Jacob Johnson, said, "The vehicle shook more than a $50 washing machine with a stripper on top. But we were bored and were trying to see if it could do 100. The next thing I knew, we were back in 1985!"

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