Enemy Eyes Poster
$15.99
Because what happens in Signal… doesn’t always stay in Signal.
This bold, retro-inspired warning features the world’s most iconic geopolitical side-eyes locked onto your latest group chat blunder. Whether it’s a selfie from a forward operating base or an emoji-laden war plan accidentally texted to the fantasy football thread, the Enemy Eyes poster is a painfully accurate reminder: Xi, Kim, and Vlad are watching. And no, they’re not impressed.
Printed on thick, museum-quality matte paper, this poster is perfect for any space where questionable OPSEC decisions are made—which, let’s be honest, is most spaces.
Specs:
• 10.3 mil thick matte paper—because this message needs weight
• 189 g/m² for a paper that lasts longer than your phone’s security update
• Brightness: 104%, because subtlety is not the point
• Paper sourced from Japan, not harvested from a compromised Signal server
Hang it in your office, war room, or anywhere someone might “just forward this real quick.”
Because if you think that Signal thread is secure… they already know you do.
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A small kit of adjacent morale supplies, pre-checked for anyone who wants command climate in bulk.
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Approved for staff meetings, airport terminals, and pretending this deployment makes strategic sense.
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