Unisex ‘Pentagon Announces Plan to Eliminate Joy’ Shirt
$24.99
In a move to boost efficiency by eradicating happiness, the Pentagon’s latest initiative is now immortalized on this tee. Perfect for those who appreciate the irony of bureaucratic decisions that squeeze the last drop of joy from military life.
Crafted from 100% combed and ring-spun cotton, this shirt is as soft and lightweight as the fleeting moments of joy it’s designed to commemorate. With just the right amount of stretch, it offers comfort during those long, joyless briefings and endless formations.
Features:
• Pre-shrunk fabric, ensuring it maintains its shape—even when your morale doesn’t.
• Side-seamed construction and shoulder-to-shoulder taping for durability, because this shirt needs to withstand the rigors of joyless military life.
Wear it to mandatory fun days, morale-boosting events, or any occasion where joy is in short supply. This shirt serves as a satirical salute to the never-ending quest for efficiency at the expense of happiness. Size guide
LENGTH (inches)
WIDTH (inches)
CHEST (inches)
S
28
18
34-37
M
29
20
38-41
L
30
22
42-45
XL
31
24
46-49
2XL
32
26
50-53
3XL
33
28
54-57
4XL
34
30
58-61
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A small kit of adjacent morale supplies, pre-checked for anyone who wants command climate in bulk.
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