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Retired smart bomb takes laser-guided tour of Europe

PARIS — Walter Benson, a retired BOLT-117 laser-guided bomb, came crashing through the ceiling of the Louvre in Paris as part of a laser-guided tour of Europe, sources confirmed today.

“At about 1:48 AM yesterday, the first explosion happened in the level-one ceiling over Italian paintings,” said Jean-Luc Martinez, president of the Louvre. “It was the first in a series of at least 15 explosions to occur during the course of the laser-guided tour taken by Mr. Benson and his surprisingly game wife, Marie, who rode on him like Major Kong from Dr. Strangelove.

Amid the shower of debris, shrieking alarms, and panicking tourists, the couple were able to see Leonardo Da Vinci’s famous Mona Lisa relatively unobstructed, according to photos uploaded to Marie’s Instagram account.

“Breathtaking,” said the caption under one photo of the painting in which a dust-covered child is seen crying beside her shell-shocked mother.

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