FORT BENNING, Ga.— Soldiers across the United States Army are now authorized to defecate into slit trenches with which they identify, according to Army leaders.
Army Chief of Staff Gen. Mark Milley announced the sweeping regulation will be effective immediately. It requires all patrol bases to have at least two identical slit trenches, and authorizes Soldiers to “feel free to choose” which of the 2-feet deep, 1-foot wide, and 4-feet long field latrines they are most comfortable using.
“Apparently some people are up in arms over which hole in the ground we get to piss in,” Said Staff Sgt. Derek Hunter. “Which is weird, because the people that are the loudest about it aren’t the ones out here taking a shit into a hole.”
