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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 135 · Thursday, 12 November 2026

Veterans

Homeless veterans receive 10% off cardboard boxes this Veterans Day

Home Depot and Lowe's announce new discount on temporary shelter for America's heroes

Hegseth asks staff to make next execution more like ‘The Running Man’

Pete Hegseth picks wrong week to stop drinking

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Vol. 15 · No. 135

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Duffel Blog

Established 2012 · Deployed worldwide

Vol. 15 · No. 135 · Deployed worldwide

Thursday

12 November 2026

1245 Zulu

Next edition Friday

← Front page
Air & Space · Page 6

Space Force cook swears his hard-boiled eggs did not put that alien growing inside you

Game over man, game over!

Filed · 0500

SPACE – It was another mundane watch on the USS Buzz Aldrin and you were just grabbing a quick protein snack before your shift when suddenly you sense what feels like a huge shit or an alien growing inside you. However, Culinary Specialist 2nd Class Harold Rubio nervously denies his hard-boiled eggs had anything to do with it.

According to ship protocol, all food stores are to be placed in the adjacent containment to the Zergomorph seeds. However, during an evasive maneuver through the asteroid belt last night, some boxes may have shifted, confirms an edgy mess cook who requested anonymity.

You knew when you sprinkled salt and pepper on the eggs just before ingesting them that something was not right. But you’ve had plenty of military cooking before, so something moving around inside the eggs and making a hissing sound wasn’t much different than last week’s dehydrated lasagna.

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