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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Friday, 25 September 2026

Pentagon

Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch

Services clash over historic privilege of being first to defile nation’s newest military monument

Mitch McConnell returns from extended drill weekend

Trump considers replacing Hegseth with rock or something

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Vol. 15 · No. 115

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Duffel Blog

Established 2012 · Deployed worldwide

Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Deployed worldwide

Friday

25 September 2026

0657 Zulu

Next edition Monday

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Navy & Marines · Page 5

Space Marine: Oh, you think my job is cool? Try police calling in zero gravity

Filed · 1543

The following is a transcription of an unauthorized audio file embedded in a command chronology burst sent via retrans comm drone. The file was recorded by Lance Cpl. Bei Ming Ken of Orbital Drop Company, 3rd Battalion, 1st Marines aboard USS Dakota Meyer IVO Algol Binary System.

The year is 2214.

Yeah, yeah, clap it up. The Marine Corps is still going strong, except for those four years we were cryogenically frozen during a government shutdown. And guess what?

It still fucking sucks.

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