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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 126 · Thursday, 22 October 2026

Pentagon

Hegseth consults God via dumpster fire behind Pentagon

Secretary says God commanded him to invade Greenland, restore Christian values

US to livestream execution of Ukraine

Iran condemns US plan to livestream execution as barbaric

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Vol. 15 · No. 126

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Duffel Blog

Established 2012 · Deployed worldwide

Vol. 15 · No. 126 · Deployed worldwide

Thursday

22 October 2026

0945 Zulu

Next edition Friday

← Front page
· Page 2

Study finds 87% of Marine privates could be replaced with Roombas

Can a Roomba beat a final boss or drink 7 Four Lokos in 14 minutes?

Filed · 0720

Honestly? This is overkill.

QUANTICO, VA — A groundbreaking study conducted by Marine Corps Systems Command has revealed that 87% of Marine privates could potentially be replaced by Roombas, the popular robotic vacuum cleaners. 

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