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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 132 · Wednesday, 4 November 2026

Pentagon

Pentagon confident U.S. will be ready for 2027 war with China by 2035

Officials cite historically proven American strategy of entering wars completely unprepared

Hegseth wears Eisenhower's globe as Halloween costume

Spirit Halloween store to become pop-up ICE detention center

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Vol. 15 · No. 132

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Vol. 15 · No. 132 · Deployed worldwide

Wednesday

4 November 2026

0241 Zulu

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· Page 2

STUDY: Mobile porn sites work better on chapel WiFi

Filed · 1538

SOUTHWEST ASIA — A recent study kept secret by CENTCOM shows that mobile porn sites work best on the base chapel's wifi, sources have confirmed.

According to the joint-service team of researchers, the chapel wifi provides a faster and more consistent streaming capability to users of PornHub, xVideos, and other popular adult websites. Two groups of 45 males and 5 females were monitored to determine whether identical phones could better stream pornographic videos via mobile hotspots or the chapel's wifi.

"The results seemed to show fairly consistently that porn sites load and stream more smoothly using the chapel's wireless network than a personal wifi puck," says Sr. Airman Ronald Jeremiah, a Scientific Applications Specialist who is part of the research team. "Sometimes the wifi pucks performed better but we attribute that to how many users besides our teams were streaming from the chapel."

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