Pro-American Brand Launches 'Tapped Out' Patriotic Casket Line

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Pro-American clothing company Hard 4 America LLC has launched a new line of patriotic caskets for active and former troops, Duffel Blog has learned.

“Based on overwhelming demand for more military, patriotic, and elitist-themed apparel for active and former service-members, we have decided to expand our product line to allow our customers the option to express their patriotic, right-wing stances even after they’ve been killed in action,” said Jason Jennings, the CEO and Founder of Hard 4 America.

“Although more than likely most of our customers will die due to high cholesterol or alcohol poisoning," he added.

At a fallen heroes fundraising event on Monday, Hard 4 America unveiled some of its initial designs. According to the company's press packet, the names and descriptions include:

Pentagon casualties, metric improvement, and Fat Leonard’s least dignified phase.

A State Department map that relocated most of Africa, one ambitious government travel card, and 5,200 medical students moved from dorms that definitely do not have mold.

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