Pro-American Brand Launches 'Tapped Out' Patriotic Casket Line

For more than a decade, we've deployed pitch perfect satire to service members around the world.

Join thousands of troops, veterans, and defense insiders who read Duffel Blog before breakfast.

“A must-read for national security nerds.”

—The Daily Beast

Free. No spam. Unsubscribe anytime.

14years publishing

4,200+dispatches filed

20,000+readers briefed

Pro-American clothing company Hard 4 America LLC has launched a new line of patriotic caskets for active and former troops, Duffel Blog has learned.

“Based on overwhelming demand for more military, patriotic, and elitist-themed apparel for active and former service-members, we have decided to expand our product line to allow our customers the option to express their patriotic, right-wing stances even after they’ve been killed in action,” said Jason Jennings, the CEO and Founder of Hard 4 America.

“Although more than likely most of our customers will die due to high cholesterol or alcohol poisoning," he added.

At a fallen heroes fundraising event on Monday, Hard 4 America unveiled some of its initial designs. According to the company's press packet, the names and descriptions include:

Pentagon casualties, metric improvement, and Fat Leonard’s least dignified phase.

A State Department map that relocated most of Africa, one ambitious government travel card, and 5,200 medical students moved from dorms that definitely do not have mold.

More Stories

Army adopts ‘Your body, my choice’ as new recruiting slogan

First-generation American pilot excited to give family free ride on deportation flight

Hegseth tired of looking at all these limp dicks in Pentagon locker room

25 years after 9/11, America still processing events normally

Opinion: How I learned to stop worrying and love my low testosterone

West Point removes ‘honor’ from ‘duty, honor, country’ ethos

Opinion

Start Here