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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 132 · Thursday, 5 November 2026

Pentagon

Pentagon confident U.S. will be ready for 2027 war with China by 2035

Officials cite historically proven American strategy of entering wars completely unprepared

Hegseth wears Eisenhower's globe as Halloween costume

Spirit Halloween store to become pop-up ICE detention center

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Vol. 15 · No. 132

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Vol. 15 · No. 132 · Deployed worldwide

Thursday

5 November 2026

0823 Zulu

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· Page 2

US unexpectedly replaces entire Olympic skating team with Marine lance corporals

Filed · 1533

PYEONGCHANG, South Korea — Just days after the Winter Olympics kicked off, the United States has unexpectedly replaced its entire Skating Team with Marine lance corporals, sources confirmed today.

It's just the latest move by Washington to show support and appreciation for U.S. troops, officials say. Although many questioned the abilities of the all-Marine team, their superiors and peers alike all described their skating abilities as "prolific."

"He's brilliant, an absolute master of his craft," Lance Cpl. Mark Maker told reporters of his roommate, Lance Cpl. Michael "Chazz" Michaels. "Michaels spends nearly every waking moment at work skating. Recently he's been skating so hard that he's been permanently removed from the duty roster. I wasn't surprised at all when he was deemed one of the best skaters in the world."

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